


maybe next time

by VEC_16_04



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 10:26:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2648645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VEC_16_04/pseuds/VEC_16_04
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe next time… No, they won’t. They never do. They only see me when I screw up. Than they notice. They see but they don’t know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe next time

I have been training all afternoon. I make another run, another sprint down the sidelines, every time faster and faster. I don’t stop because I know I can do better. Step after step trying to reach the ball faster, trying to get around the dummies faster.  


The sun has almost gone under completely but I keep training. Another shot at goal, slightly too high. Again, I make the run again, this time I change my shooting angle a bit. The ball hits the crossbar. Another try this time the ball hits the back of the net but I’m still not satisfied. I should have hit it a bit differently so the ball would have gone a little bit more to the left and a little bit more upwards, then it would have been perfect.

 _Maybe next time they will notice me, maybe next time they will see me maybe next time they will … I think while I take another shot._ Although the ball hits the back of the net I’m not satisfied and do it again and again and again.  


All my balls are either behind or in the goal, I replace the dummies and do it again. Another step, I swing my leg back and then forward, it connects with the ball, the ball flies away and a couple blades of grass fly with it. I follow the trajectory of the ball and before the ball hits the back of the net I know what I did wrong, what I could have done better. I take the run again. I shoot again, still not perfect but after a couple more shots I switch to another exercise knowing it will never be good enough for them.

_Maybe next time I’ll get the recognition for what I do and for who I’m._

…  


I make another run. I run past a dummy and take the shot it hits the crossbar  


Another run I keep going till it is perfect but the problem with perfection is that you never reach it. as many runs as you make, as much shots as you take. You will never reach perfection in soccer because you can always do better. You can always make a better run, take a better shot. So eventually I give up because no matter how hard I train it will never be perfect, it will never be enough.

 

The sun is completely under, the lights of the trainings field are on. With four shadows surrounding me I take another shot, I make another run I, I make another move, …  


_I hope that I will no longer be a ghost, no longer be ignored, no longer be sketched as the villain. No longer be ignored._

I slide and know that whatever I’m hoping for won’t happen because no matter how hard I train they won’t see me. I’m no Hope Solo, no Abby Wambach or Alex Morgan. I’m just an aggressive midfielder that will never be good enough. With that thought I come to a stop and lie down on the grass covered in mud and grass. I should stand up and try again and maybe I will get it next time, maybe they will see. Maybe next time… No, they won’t. They never do. They only see me when I screw up. Than they notice. They see but they don’t know.


End file.
